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I still struggle to reach orgasm in my 7 years relationship

Date published: Saturday, 26th March 2016

In men, problems with reaching orgasm could be to do with anxiety or their preferred masturbation style
 
There’s a lot of information out there for women who can’t orgasm, but very little for men.
 
I’m in my 20s and have been with my fiancee for seven years now, but still struggle to reach orgasm.
 
I’m concerned that not only is it damaging my sex drive and self-esteem, but also hers.
 
Your partner may well be worried about this although, in my clinical experience, men have tended to take anorgasmia more personally.
 
Perhaps this is because women, especially, enjoy the longer coital time.
 
But I suggest you stop worrying about your partner and address this as your own issue.
 
Are you easily distracted? Do you find it difficult to maintain focus long enough to achieve orgasm?
 
Do you become so anxious that fear of failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?
 
Very often, men who are unable to climax with partners are those who have developed a certain masturbation style – perhaps particularly rough or strong – that is not conducive to partner sex.
 
If this is the case for you, it is possible to gradually change your preferred style until your own touch is closer to the vaginal coital experience (if this is too challenging, seek clinical help from a sex therapist).
 
Most importantly, try to lessen your self-imposed pressure.
 
Paradoxically, unless there is actually a medical reason for your anorgasmia (check it out), such an anxiety-reducing, erotically enhancing approach should make orgasm far less elusive.

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